Depression. A word that absolutely can send dread coursing through the veins. Whether you have witnessed its debilitating effect on a loved one or experienced it yourself, you know it physically changes things.
The depressed person can be blinded to seeing beauty around them. It actually can make a clear blue sky look dingy. A riot of flowers in front of a sparkling fountain, surrounded by a sea of perfectly groomed emerald green grass can be seen, but yet, not really seen. Not the way you would see it. Those vivid colors seem to be encased in gray in a depressed person’s eyes. Their mind just doesn’t comprehend beauty, nor can they experience pleasure in life the same way as the mind of someone who is not a victim of depression.
Understanding and coping with this can be difficult for their friends and loved ones.
A dear friend has been watching the changes in Vikki in the last month. Normally involved and friendly to everyone, she has become quiet, moody and more home-bound that Jacey has ever known her to be. She has repeatedly questioned Vikki, but the answers she always gives are noncommittal and vague, not giving a clue why her outlook on life is so different lately. When socially required, she will actually laugh, but it’s a small sad sound that never reaches her distant eyes.
One day, after realizing Vikki was simply not going to talk about her problem, Jacey resorted to the tried-and-true method of helping. She invites Vikki on an outing to hopefully help her to snap out of it. “We’ll go for a nice long walk in our favorite park. I can show you those flowers I’ve been talking about, then go sit for a while by that little lake. We can watch the baby ducks swimming after their momma. They are so stinkin’ cute at this age!”
Only to be met with a shrug of indifference and a tiny sigh.
Later, her determined friend tries again. “Hey, I know! Let’s have lunch tomorrow at Pedro’s Café, and then go for a drive through that ritzy neighborhood where you love to look at those humongous houses!” But this suggestion only garners a quick glance from Vikki, eyes filling with tears as she turns away to hide her face. “Oh Jacey, I don’t think so. I’m just pretty tired lately. Maybe some other time, okay?”
Vikki is definitely hurting, no doubt. Her vision ability has narrowed down to a small pinpoint – and it includes only her pain. And any apparent rejection her good friend may be feeling? Well honestly, Vikki has a hard time recognizing or even caring by that point. There is no intention to offend her friend. She simply feels deadened and frozen. Living in a deep gray fog, where no joy or purpose can penetrate.
That, folks, is the result of depression. It has the ability to destroy friendships, marriages, and even lives. Pay attention to negative changes, because they hold meaning. And it’s never a positive thing.
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